Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
