hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
