Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
