Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
