He uses pillows to masturbate.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
