That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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