i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
