so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
