I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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