She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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