was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
