What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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