Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize