Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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