Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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