apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
