She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
