honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
