I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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