Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
