If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
