I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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