I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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