It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize