The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Randomize