You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
