bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
