hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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