so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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