All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize