I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize