I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
