You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
