So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize