After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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