i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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