Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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