id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
