you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
