What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
