my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
