would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
