Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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