It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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