is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
