Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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