Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize