When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
