So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
