dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
