Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's just like the Real World with babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
