isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
