WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
