if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
