If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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