She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize