my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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