Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
