Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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