i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
